It's 3:00 a.m. Do you know where your Elmo is?

 

Here is a true Monday Moment – it happened just last night. I was up last night (or this morning) at 2:00 a.m. with HORRIBLE pregnancy heartburn. I took as many Tums as I could and drank a few glasses of water. I was flipping thru some informericals and had just turned them off to settle down with some of my Bible reading when I heard it.

The voice.

It took me by surprise and I jumped, causing my unborn son to wiggle and kick inside of me for the next few minutes.

I heard it again – a high-pitched voice, somewhat faint, but very clear.

“Let’s try and use the potty! Hee,hee,hee,hee!”

I realized then what it was. We had bought K-Bug this Elmo potty book with the push buttons when she was potty training last year. We had started to use the book again for Lorelin, and had left it placed by the training potty for her easy access reading.However, K-Bug had an unfortunate pee-pee accident on Sunday, which left the Elmo book, shall we say, drenched. Not being able to save the book, I had thrown it in the trash. Apparently all of the dampness had now caused the book’s batteries to go crazy, so that Elmo’s voice was speaking without any of the buttons needing to be pushed.

I laid on the couch, hoping it would stop.

“Let’s-try-and-use-the-potty!Let’s-try-and-use-the- potty!Let’s-try-and-use-the-potty! Hee,hee,hee,hee!”

Now determining that Elmo wasn’t going to stop, I waded through the trashcan until I found the book. Here I was, almost 3:00 a.m. with a endlessly talking Elmo book. I examined the slimy book and thought through my options.

The batteries on the book were button cells, with a screwdriver needed to access them, and lots of warning about mercury contamination (how did I not notice this before…this is a children’s book!) Anyway, I figured that a pregnant woman dealing with mercury in the middle of the night was NOT the way to go.

So, I placed the book directly outside the kitchen door inside of the garage. No good – I had planned to go lay down on the couch for the rest of the night (my pregnant back sometimes does better that way) and I could now clearly hear Elmo echoing throughout the entire garage.

What to do? What to do?

Thinking quickly, I grabbed up the book, opened the front door and heaved Elmo far out into the night. It landed somewhere in a bush in our yard. Closing the door, I could still hear Elmo’s voice, ringing through the night, “Let’s try and use the potty! Hee,hee,hee,hee!”

Going back to the couch, I began to laugh, and then belly laugh, about the whole episode. I could just imagine some poor person going for their morning jog being surprised by the small muppet voice coming from our yard.

I am happy to report that this morning the batteries seem to have made their final push, and the book is silent. The book will go back in the trash, and I made it through the rest of my night in peace (and even with some sleep!).

Beware the Elmo…