Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dry - Part 1

So many of my blog posts have happened lately while I’m on the run – running to do my errands, running to finish my grocery shopping, running to finish my housework (or start it, such as the case may be..), running to birthday parties, or Bible studies, or baby showers, or Christmas shopping… as I stay busy, I sadly often stay too busy to really even feel the impact of what effects my spiritual walk with God day by day

So, finally, on Thanksgiving, as our family was up at the cabin – away from all of my daily obligations of cleaning, laundry, etc… away from even the computer (which I admit can be a distraction), with a couple of free late hours on my hands, I found myself sitting on the back porch of our cabin, watching the moon rise over the forest, and really talking to God and allowing myself to take stock of where I am spiritually right now.

The answer.......dry

Dry as a bone. Dry like the desert….dry

And maybe for the first time in months, I allowed tears to fall about the state of my deeper heart. This is where my husband found me, on the back porch, crying.

Poor guy - he was probably thinking that the hormones were running strong in his big, pregnant wife (which I'm sure is true)

It was good though, because he grabbed a blanket too, and we were able to have a really long, and probably overdue, discussion about where both of us were spiritually.

My revelation came as we were heading back down the mountain, driving along in the van, when my hubby turned to me and asked, “So when WAS the last time that you can remember feeling vibrant, excited, and joyful about where you were with the Lord and what you were doing for him?”

And I could remember EXACTLY, down to the day, that I felt that way, and also saw for the first time the chain of events that had led me to this spiritual state of dryness. It wasn’t all at once – like pulling the drain on a sink. Instead, it was more like a river, slowly drying up, without me really realizing that it had happened.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Stace, I know that this realization must be so hard to bring to life and to words but at the same time so exciting that you are figuring it out and talking to God about it. You are so amazing! I am so glad that Brian was able to come beside you and be deep with you. What a blessing that is! You are so real and I love that!
I also love your analogy with the sink drain and the river. Perfect picture! I am looking forward to you sharing more.
I so much enjoyed our chat at the park on Wed. You are such a blessing to have as a friend!!
Love to you!